I am the Big Ass Jif. I am an easy going non-working beer swilling machine with a zest for life and a lemon zester. I am a self-employed bucket drummer in Key West. I like to chase after pigs (read: fat girls) and smoke cigarettes in my garage. You got a fuckin' problem with that? Uh huh....I didn't think so. You jerkoff. I am presently working on my latest invention, the Lightning Fast Automatic Handjob Machine. If it does well in North America, I will probably also create the Footie Machine.
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